Monday, November 01, 2010

Election Predictions?

Received an e-mail this morning reminding me I haven't made any predictions on the outcome of tomorrow's election. I e-mailed back that I'm usually not the one to throw out guesses on election outcomes.

About the only prediction I'm willing to make is that more bad things will result from tomorrow's election than good. In California, that's nearly always the case.



At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Mr. Nice said...

I got you Fred.

Governor: Jerry Brown. Meg Whitman took a successful auction business and slapped charges per auction and picture on it, ruining it. Now everyone uses craigslist. Jerry Brown looks like a person who would buy a used bike off of craigslist or maybe even the guy selling it. Because of that, Jerry Brown will win handily.

Barbara Boxer's seat: Barbara Boxer is gonna win her permanent seat again. Nobody cares that she sucks. Carly Fiorina sucks more. She took the best printer company in the world, bought Compaq, and fired thousands of workers. Compaq stood for cheap Costco computers. Compaq is the computer everybody knows will break but it's all good because Costco will take it back. Years later, everybody still uses laser printers but nobody cares about the kind of computers Compaq made. Barbara Boxer never messed up that bad. She has the California vote sewed up. Barbara Boxer probably would have just kept on selling the same old laser printers and that's what California wants.

Prop 19: Fail. Everybody realized that they'd have to admit they smoked weed before Prop. 19 passed. They'd have to admit it when other people saw them in the liquor store buying weed. I mean the second time after they played it off like it was for their friend the first time. California prefers the sitcom-state of Prop. 215, secret indoor fire hazard gardens, and venetian blinds on the occasional holistic therapy bammer shop with sold out racks of what was good sacks. First come, first serve.

Prop. 23: Fail. While I do have faith that the average liberal without a job will pretend like they are gonna vote no and then go vote yes because they'd be okay with a job at the oil refinery, too many of them have early morning and night janitorial jobs and forgot about the absentee deadline.

Prop. 25: Pass. No Doubt. Californians are too dumb not to. Isn't it supported by Schwarzenegger and the Dream Team? Total recall. Pass.

At 8:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Twas the night before elections
And all through the town
Tempers were flaring
Emotions all up and down!
I, in my bathrobe
With a cat in my lap
Had cut off the TV
Tired of political crap.
When all of a sudden
There arose such a noise
I peered out of my window
Saw Obama and his boys.
They had come for my wallet
They wanted my pay
To give to the others
Who had not worked a day!
He snatched up my money
And quick as a wink
Jumped back on his bandwagon
As I gagged from the stink.
He then rallied his henchmen
Who were pulling his cart
I could tell they were out
To tear my country apart!
'On Fannie, on Freddie,
On Biden and Ayers!
On Acorn, On Pelosi'
He screamed at the pairs!
They took off for his cause
And as he flew out of sight
I heard him laugh at the nation
Who wouldn't stand up and fight!
So I leave you to think
On this one final note-

At 9:55 AM, Anonymous Eric Kirk said...

Big turnout in Redway this morning. I don't know if that's good or bad for 19.

At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Mr. Nice said...

I nailed all those. Shoulda kept going.


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