Saturday, December 09, 2006

The Humble Paper Deliverer

In all the years I've subscribed to the Times- Standard I only known who delivered my paper four or five times out of the dozens of carriers I've had.

One, whose name escapes me now, used to skip my house on a regular basis, or so it seemed at the time. I had to laugh when I saw his picture in the paper as Times- Standard's Carrier of the Year (or Quarter, or whatever it was).

Then there was the one young kid, whose name I won't divulge, who seemed to just deliver the paper at whatever hour of the day he felt like getting around to it. I didn't have to much of a problem with that, except on Sundays. I, and I assume most people, want their Sunday paper in the morning, not at two in the afternoon.

He went by the wayside, just like all the rest and, quite honestly, I couldn't tell you who my carrier has been for years. Sure, sometimes they'll leave a note with the paper advising you of one thing or another, but how many people pay attention to those notes?

I did pay attention to the note that came with my paper this morning. I've printed it here verbatim, with the exception of adding bold print to a couple sentences for emphasis:

To my customer,
Thank you for letting me be your carrier. December will be my last month for delivering the paper to you. I am going to go to school down south to learn to driver truck, for CR England trucking. So I appreciate your understanding, when I was late or the paper was messed up. Sorry for all those mess up or late papers. I hope you will get a better carrier than me. I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. So the end of this year I will not be your paper deliver any more. Thank you again and Happy Holidays. Good by all

To all many thanks, You paper deliver G###### M##

I don't know how long he's been delivering our paper, but we've had few late or missing papers for the last year. I can't help but like this humble fellow.

Is it just me or does that Good by all at the end of his note make it sound like he's getting ready to off himself?


At 9:30 AM, Blogger Heraldo said...

Maybe he's addressing everyone on his route.

But the note is a little self depreciating.

At 10:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is hoping everyone will send him a nice Christmas Tip to send him off to "learn to driver truck". He obviously needs "Grammar and Spelling For Dummies" for Christmas!

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Pogo said...

Did heraldo mean "deprecating"? The carrier is attempting to improve his lot in life but may find that being a long haul driver for England is no bed of roses. Showering at truck stops and sleeping in tractor sleepers can get old fast.

At 11:14 AM, Blogger Heraldo said...

No, I meant "depreciating," but "deprecating" works, too.

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Fred said...

The note was meant for everyone on his route. It was right in the middle of the paper and I almost missed it.

I just thought it was kind of a cute note, despite the spelling problems and all.

But I wonder if I spoke to soon?

Our paper's been delivered pretty regularly in recent months. The one or two times it might not have shown up, I figured no big deal since I get the E/R anyway, and I can always read the online version of T-S.

I got to thinking, though; I'm not sure how long this guy's been delivering our paper, but a while back we had a problem:

We couldn't find it half the time. Whoever delivered it would toss it out...wherever! You'd go out and wouldn't see it so you'd have to go out and look for it.

Sometimes it would be on the driveway, behind the retaining wall (where the E/R usually lands nowadays). Sometimes it would be in one of the ivy beds on either side of the yard. I believe once it ended up in the gutter when it was raining.

One time I couldn't find it at all. I told the wife I'd looked everwhere to no avail. She found it almost by accident.

She went across the street for something. As she was walking back she found the paper about six feet up the telephone pole on the street corner. The plastic bag it was in caught on something up on the pole and there it hung. You didn't really notice it from the house or sidewalk but it was easily seen from the street.

Finally, for one reason or another, I called and complained. I think it was one time we didn't get a paper and I just wanted our account credited for the paper. I mentioned the every morning search we we're going through for the paper, while talking to the circulation babe.

She told me she could have it "porched" when delivered, which meant making sure it was on our front porch. I told her I didn't want to cause that much of a hassle for the carrier, but whatever works.

She said she'd have it "porched". It's pretty much been on the porch ever since.

About the only problem is that this computer is just a few feet from the front door. I'll be sitting here in the morning when everything's real quite doing computer stuff and once in a while the paper will hit the front door; BAM!

Gives me quite a start every now and then.

At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do you link to Buhne when he doesn't link to you or anyone else for that matter?

I say isolate him.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger Fred said...

Because I like the Buhne Tribune.

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fred, have you ever thought of doing something nice for the paper boy, like leaving some fresh oranges out for him? Maybe a bottle of water?

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Better make it a bag o weed or some brew.

At 4:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fred, you honestly haven't noticed any changes for the worse over at Buhne?

At 6:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paper carriers routinely send out Christmas cards so you will xmas tip them-however this one doesn't sound like it. The goodbye cruel world tone could just be your own mood Fred;the holidays are hard on a lot of people... In any case-if he left his name and address you could send him a card with a tip for good service. Porching the paper every day is a challenge for carriers. It take s good arm to make it past the bushes and over the cars in front of your house. If he's been porching it and you don't usually tip $20-25 is pretty average. If you already tip monthly, an extra $5 is plenty.

-Somebody's Paper 'Deliver'

At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

buhne delivers more timely news than the TS or any of the radio stations. Who wants to wait til 11:00 for 30 second soundbites with no facts.

At 10:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, local news on TV leaves something to be desired.

For one thing, there's more time devoted to Suddenlink commercials than to actual local news.

Ah, Suddenlink, what a plaque of commercials you have unloosed upon us!

And of course our Clear Channel 6 doesn't dirty its hands with local news anymore, more's the pity.

Can anyone here tell me which radio stations still broadcast local news on a regular basis?

At 11:43 PM, Blogger Heraldo said...

KMUD has local news Mon-Fri at 6pm. They replay the half-hour broadcast the following mornings at 8am.

At 6:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All true, but I agree that Buhne's quality has declined, with too much sarchasm and elitism for this gal's taste.

At 7:41 AM, Blogger Carol Ann said...

Fred, I don't think your newspaper carrier is trying to "off himself". I agree that he is hoping for a Christmas bonus tip. We got a nice letter from our newspaper carrier, too, and will send her a Christmas card and a bonus.

I like the local news on KMUD, too, Heraldo. We can't get local TV, but Dish Network is suppose to install some sort of antenna next week. We keep getting these annoying calls from telemarketers from other countries trying to convince us to switch to Direct TV. We will see if we get any reception. Our last antenna blew off the roof a few years ago during a winter storm.

I agree that Buhne's tone seems a bit manic lately.

At 2:41 PM, Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Holy shit!!

You mean you people actually read physical newspapers still?

I'll be dipped...

And, if one is gonna go truckin', England is a pretty good outfit to begin with.


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